


DILF

by satalderihannsu



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Drabble, M/M, Slang, Talk Shows, dilf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-24
Updated: 2014-09-24
Packaged: 2018-02-18 14:18:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2351438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/satalderihannsu/pseuds/satalderihannsu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wild Tiger has some issues with slang on public television. Barnaby helps him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	DILF

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eldanis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eldanis/gifts).



“So on behalf of everyone at the studio, we want to congratulate the both of you on your new Hero duet album. Thanks for being here today, Mr. Tiger, Mr. Barnaby Brooks Jr., especially on the heels of such an incredible capture of the criminal Yusuke Darcy, who robbed all those jewelry factories.”

“Eh, it was nothing! I mean, it’s easy enough to follow someone that bright.”

“Oh, so the criminal was wearing his stolen jewels?”

“No. The suspect was apprehended while he was on fire.”

“Hey, he wasn’t all the way on fire, Bunny-chan!”

“In any case, the glow of the fire was a chief clue.”

“Well that’s just incredible. Isn’t it incredible, folks?”

So about this album. Both of you sing, is that right?”

“Yeah yeah yeah! I sing, so you can hear the wild roar of passion! He sings, too!”

“We just hope we can entertain a few of the people of Sternbild with our voices. Maybe some will be inspired.”

“No need to be modest, Mr. Brooks! After all, even before preorder, I hear that the first pressing of the CD is already sold out, like almost all of your duo’s merchandise.”

“Since you’re here, we wondered if you might respond to some of the emails we’ve gotten about the CD release. You’ve got quite the fans, after all.”

“If we can, we will.”

“Sure, sure. I might even sing if asked!”

“I don’t think they’ll want to see us sing tonight.”

“Sure they do!”

“No, I don’t think they do.”

“What, you bashful all of a sudden, Bunny? Don’t worry, you’ll do fine!”

“Our first email comes from Mi-chan in East Silver. She asks, and I think this might be for you, Mr. Brooks, ‘How do you get your to curl like that? I use an iron and it’s never the same!’ Can you give some help to Mi-chan?”

“Heh. Use curlers while your hair is wet, before bed. In the morning, use a spray hold before you remove the curlers. You can freshen up your hair with a curling iron halfway through the day.”

“There you have it, Mi-chan! All right, our next question is from Deevi in East Bronze. He asks, ‘If your abilities are all multiplied, could the Wild Roar itself be a weapon?’ I guess you can answer that, Mr. Tiger.”

“You know what? I’ve never tried that. I’ve gotta go for it next time! Or, hey, you want me to try right now?”

“Ah! No, that’s all right. We’ll, er, look forward to it on Hero TV! Yes?”

“Oh… All right.”

“If it’s anything like my NEXT power, then if focused upon, the force of voice could also become a dangerous force.”

“You tested it? How come I never tested it?”

“I don’t know.”

“Hah! Heh… Anyway, our next question comes from Sada in North Silver: “If you could write a book, what would it be about?”

“Ha! Easy! I would write a biography of Mr. Legend! With lots of pictures!”

“And what about you, Mr. Brooks?”

“I suppose it would be something nonfiction, perhaps about robotics. Or a detective novel.”

“Fascinating! Oh, no, it looks like we’re just about out of time, only a chance for one more question. Let’s see. Kay from East Gold writes, ‘Wild Tiger, I hear you have a daughter. How’s it feel to be such a… dilf?’”

“Eh?”

“I’m sorry, but I’m afraid it’s time to thank our sponsors.”

“Excuse me, but what’s a dilf?”

“Join us next week when we interview Sky High and welcome a celebrity chef for a cook-off of heroic proportions.”

“But what is this dilf thing?”

“Dad I’d Like to F-BEEEEEEP.”

“WHA—?”

“Thanks, and good night!”

*^*^*

A fruit basket waited on them in the dressing room, filled with bananas, apples, and strawberries. Kotetsu grabbed a banana and then brandished it at Barnaby. “You owe me an explanation.”

Barnaby pulled his glasses from his nose and idly cleaned them with a cloth from his pocket. “I don’t know what you mean, old man.”

The banana waggled. “That word. At the end of the program—”

“It’s not a word,” said Barnaby. “It’s an acronym of a phrase.”

“Whatever! Here’s the thing—you knew it.”

Barnaby shrugged. Only someone who knew Barnaby very well might be able to tell that he was nervous.

“You not only knew it, you knew it off the top of your head! How is that? What was it again?”

“...DILF.”

Kotetsu shook his head. “Eh… sounds so dumb. And you say it’s—”

Barnaby glared and replaced his glasses. He took an apple and began to clean it with the cloth. Now Kotetsu knew he was uncomfortable. Barnaby spoke almost too quietly: “Dad I’d like to f—”

“Right! That! How d’you know such things?”

Barnaby paused a moment, raised the apple to his lips, then thought better of it. At last he said only, “It’s applicable.”

END


End file.
